LW, your situation reminds myself off my very own experience of my personal twin sister
How i create polyamory, I don’t feel the right otherwise a desire to “approve” the dating out of even my lead partners – not to mention further in the future. They are their particular individual and i you should never individual her or him, and therefore they will not need to inquire myself permission to-do while they for example. Naturally if i possess issues about anyone otherwise a new inclusion is actually bringing-up FEELZ, I will mention it together in addition they will get favor perhaps not up to now a person who will bring myself be concerned.
However, it is usually best to sign in. Even when the polycule doesn’t have “right out of refusal,” Dude should feel keeping his lovers appraised of your situation, and you can staying outlines out-of telecommunications discover. By doing this when the people has a problem with they, you will find plenty of room to enable them to bring up concerns.
Simply because you’re poly does not mean you cannot possess limitations and you may things have are okay (this can be even more into the LW’s sibling indeed). LW – As much as possible discover damage and you can trouble decreasing the trail, it’s okay to state zero and you can step away.
Some individuals and you can disease commonly really worth the problem they are available having and is ok about how to make up your mind mainly based on that once the a motivator.
LW, to address the first section of your own letter, in which you state it’s hard to tell apart between religious-hangover shame and you can sensible shame, I would claim that you don’t need to getting accountable having are into the sister’s spouse.